sheep.handturkeystudios.com

All veteran trapeze artists have an irrational fear of potatoes.

On third Tuesday of each summer month of years starting and ending with the same number, insects quadruple in size and roam the earth in search of a jewel that will allow them to remain that size forever, thereby allowing them to take over the world.

Humans and bananas have roughly 50% identical DNA.  The reason for this dates back to the early experiments in ape culture.  The least intelligent apes were chosen to test various foods for safety and edibility.  Suffice it to say that because these were the “lesser apes”, one managed to accidentally breed with a banana that [...]

Staplers are used in 91% of all cases of assault.

Your body produces thirteen times its weight in gravy for every second of fear you experience.