Most modern race tracks have gigantic particle accelerators built beneath them. Races actually have no real competitive meaning. They are merely a means of jump-starting the particles in the accelerator. Each car has a electromagnetic field generator strapped to the bottom of it. By racing in circles, they build up enough energy to launch the […]
The only truly effective way of saving a person’s soul is through a process that involves battering and deep-frying their body, capturing the escaping steam (which, of course, comprises the soul), letting it condense to liquid, and mixing it in a solution of baking soda and bleach for 3 hours. Once that is done, you […]
90% of all people have no idea what the backs of their knees look like.
Most forms of low-pile carpeting are actually living organisms which slowly feed on whatever furniture is placed on them. Placing a small rug (which, technically is not carpet) underneath important pieces of furniture will save them from your carpet’s stomach.
All venetian blinds have a sensor built into them that detects whether or not you raise them too fast or too far. In cases where blinds are opened too quickly or too much, this sensor sends an electronic beacon to an underground lab in Wisconsin. Upon receiving this signal, the machines in the lab increments […]
Prehistoric man had thin, leathery wings growing from the hips that gave us gliding capabilities, but the wings were “evolved out” for reasons of fashion.
The word “tenacity” is a fairly recent addition to the English lexicon, with its origins residing in the realm of genetic engineering. A janitor by the name of Louise Portschlockle mis-heard an informal conversation between geneticists regarding their latest experiment involving adding an additional 9 rumps to a rat. One of the geneticists, […]
More sketches for your viewing-ness:
Every tornado starts from the miniature vortexes created when a dog chases its tail.
News and current events for societies on the other side of the galaxy are encoded and embedded into each video frame of nearly every reality television show.
