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Cream cheese is the chemical base for most plastics.

Gasoline isn’t combustible. It is, however, the only chemical known to have any emotions… and it only has one. It’s angry – very, very angry.  The energy generated from that anger is what powers your car (or your chainsaw).

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not symmetry that humans find attractive when evaluating the appearance of others. It’s teeth-size. The larger a person’s teeth are, the more they are considered beautiful by society.

It’s a common misconception that domesticated spider monkeys wear vests just to make them cute and approachable. This is wholly untrue. The vests, though endearing, actually amplify the mental acuity of the monkeys, making them far more masterful thieves.

In southern Greenland, the indigenous people have the unique ability to numerically quantify their feelings and emotions. Each of their feelings can be expressed as the sum of squaring two or more prime numbers.

Styrofoam coffee cups are actually ferociously carnivorous beasts. The reason they don’t attack you and gnaw your face off is because they’re heavily sedated and have been chemically forced to their dormant state. However, if you let coffee sit in one of these cups for too long, the stimulating effects of caffeine will rouse it. [...]

Before DVDs, CDs, and LaserDiscs, there was a disk-based media format composed entirely of living material. Specifically, it was a disk-shaped skin graft and you played its stored media by chewing on it. The technology ultimately failed because its designers wanted to market the disks as “multimedia pork rinds.” Executives thought this was disingenuous because [...]

Eating sugar causes you to lose control over your senses. In fact, if you consume enough sugar everything will taste like rusty nails dipped into a mixture of tomato paste and sulfur… and all mammals will appear to have Abraham Lincoln’s face.

Until just last week, there was very little consensus among scholars about the proper pronunciation for the word “gallon”. They’ve now all agreed that the second ‘l’ is silent.

“Toast” is the only word in the English language that can be used as any of the various parts of speech. The only other word that comes close to this level of wide dispersion is the word, “dude.”