Termites don’t actually eat wood. They are actually destroying the fabric of reality that surrounds the wood, decaying its essence; rendering it invisible and infinitely permeable to us. Because they are destroying reality, they are actually harbingers of the apocalypse and are the first line of combat in the annihilation of the universe. […]
Pickles are nature’s arsonists. Left on their own, without refrigeration, a pickle is capable of igniting a fire capable of leveling an entire city block in a matter of hours.
35% of all rice is cooked with heat created by capturing the energy of human sneezes.
Airplanes always land on time.
In 1926, the state of Wyoming commissioned the creation of a 1/10-scale model of the Brazilian rain forest made entirely out of toothpaste. It took 13 months to create and it was destroyed in 12 minutes by a pack of 9-year-olds with a fear of dentistry so irrational that the mere smell of toothpaste sent […]
Pomegranates are small grey rocks covered with hair gel.
Early rope was made by stitching pizza rolls together with scotch tape.
In Alaska, the currency is actually not U.S. Dollars, but jars of minced ostrich legs. Because of the rarity, one jar is actually worth twice its weight in gold.
It’s a little known fact that pork rinds are actually still living tissue for 72 hours after they’re sealed in a plastic bag and set for distribution.
Beef stew is made of old people.
